This is what some bloggers would call a “throw away” post. I will likely regret it in the morning.
There was some coverage today that Microsoft COO Kevin Turner actually stated that Apple had called Microsoft two weeks ago agitating to pull the “Laptop Hunter” ads. If you haven’t seen these ads, they are somewhat poorly put together sequences where someone gets a thousand dollars to buy a laptop, and they of course decide that the $3299 17″ MacBook Pro is too expensive, so they buy a $699 PC with completely non-comparable specs. But the ads do work, and have gotten attention.
Anyway, here’s the quote:
And you know why I know [the commercials are] working? Because two weeks ago we got a call from the Apple legal department saying, hey — this is a true story — saying, “Hey, you need to stop running those ads, we lowered our prices.” They took like $100 off or something. It was the greatest single phone call in the history that I’ve ever taken in business. (Applause.)
Here’s my version of how that phone call really went:
Apple: Hi, this is Apple, calling for Microsoft.
Microsoft: This is Microsoft speaking.
Apple: Hi Microsoft. Listen, these commercials you are running don’t make any sense. I know Bill is pretty agitated about the Get A Mac ads, but this really isn’t helping. Just some advice, but you should stop running them. It’s embarrassing.
Microsoft: Ha, Ha! Really getting to you, huh? Prices too high, can’t compete! Ha Ha. If you can’t take the heat, stay out the kitchen!
Apple: Seriously, we just lowered the price of the iPhone by $100. We’re selling 20M of them. You can get a 3G for $99. Who cares about the price of a laptop anymore?
Microsoft: OMG! I cannot believe you just said that! I’m going to tell everyone! You LOWERED your prices by $100 just because of these commercials?!? Awesome! Boo-yah! He shoots, he scores!
Apple: Forget it. This is going nowhere.
Microsoft: Smell you later. Ha Ha. Let me know when you can run a real operating system on your crappy computers!
OK, I’m no Fake Steve Jobs. But it was worth a shot.